At work today, there was an 11 day-old bulldog puppy. It was so gorgeous. Naturally the mothers will lick the butt's or the pups to stimulate them to poop, but since the momma wasn't there, I used a wet cotton ball to stimulate to poopin'.
Then the poop touched my finger and I kicked the puppy across the room.(Not really, but I had to add something about kicking a puppy... I actually kissed on the little puppy's head for a while.)